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Showing posts from 2010

Just Friends

I have to know my boundary

I know that

But the feeling came abruptly

I didn't plan that

You were supposed to be a friend

I've known about you long enough for that

You weren't supposed to confound

I didn't know how to respond for thatBut I saw your beauty within

And I fell for what lies beneath

Though you should never be mine

I still want you to be my mate

Will Be Mine

I knew we're impossible

You were just a distraction

I was just an interlude

But somehow I hoped for you

Perhaps to fulfill my own broken dreamThough I know it was dangerous
You're definitely what I like

The figure I've been looking for

The kind of attention I needed

But how do we deal with this?

You belong to her eternally

I can never have you in any way 
Maybe someday I'll have my own

Somebody like you...

Only, he will be mine

Dream Last Night

You were there by the pool, sitting

When I accidentally past over you

Normally it won't mean anything

But you know, a dream just came true

Funny how you appeared just like thatWhen we chat, I felt like I've known youI just remembered, we've already metIn my dream last night, I'm pretty sure it was you
I don't really believe in coincidence

But what just happened I can not explain

Do we need any more evidence?

Maybe we're soulmate, but maybe just a friend

Termenung

Malam ini kutatap langit kosong

Termenung memikirkanmu yang jauh

Kuberharap tiada kata bohong

Hati ingin percaya padamu penuh

Namun ketika kuberanjak tidurMengapa hanya sendiri ku di sini?Lama kuhanya bisa terpekurMengkhayalkan kau ada di sisi
Sulit bagiku membayangkan hidup

Bila tanpamu mesti berjalan terus

Mungkin 'tuk kita saat ini memang redup

Kuyakin kau kan kembali bila itu harus

Sudahlah

Aku ingin teriak

Tak kuat rasanya hati

Kuingin memberontak

Dari cengkeraman rasa ini

Rasanya tak bisa lagiKujalani kalau kau setengah hatiTak sanggup berjuang sendirianSementara tak acuh kau membiarkan
Kuingin kau di sini

Mengapa sulit untuk kau hadir?

Hanya satu pinta diri

Benarkah tak ingin kau penuhi?

SudahlahLama hati ini menantiAku lelahLebih baik bila kauakhiri...

Habis

28.06.10 Habis.
Terkuras sudah semua dayaku.
Untuk mencintaimu, membuatmu bahagia.
Tak sanggup lagi.
Tak ada lagi yang tersisa dariku.
Semua t’lah kuberikan padamu, segalanya.
Apa yang kulakukan aku tak tahu.
Tiba-tiba kauputuskan tali cinta ini.
Mengemispun aku tak mampu.
Semua cinta t’lah kuserahkan untukmu.
Lantas harus apakahku sekarang?
Tak ada lagi tujuan, hidupku terasa kosong.
Tak mungkin kuakhiri sekarang, belum tuntas semua.
Namun tanpa hadirmu di hariku, kan kujalani tanpa asa.
Suatu saat kau ‘kan melihatku.
Budak uang yang berjuang menyusuri hidup
Dalam kekelaman batin yang tak pernah terbayangkan
Di situlah ku ‘kan berada.
Merelakanmu.
Dengan mengorbankan cintaku.

When You Do

19.03.09
When you first said hi after those missing years

I thought, how could this be--it can not be!

Tried to tell myself it must not for real

Though I secretly wanted it to be
When you say how much you missed me

I wished you'd never say them

Cuz they made me put hopes on you

And would break my heart if it's not true
When you say you love me true

I could only smile, looking back at you

You won't know how hard my inside screamed

Wanting it so bad to become true
So when you really did show me

How much you really care about

I could only say my grace and thanks

and for that, babe, how can I not love you?

Then He Comes

04.04.09
In a world maybe only hers to know, she was desperate

For nobody's knowledge she had suffered and tortured

Life had taught her miseries--she had to find joy among the sorrow

Unfairness happens--but justice would find its own way somehow
By the time he found her she was wounded and exhausted

She was torn and broken and she needed some hope

How had she forgotten how to again have the laughter

A glimpse of happiness--that was all she ever wanted
In him she has found an understanding like never before

With him she grows and expands more than she'd ever know

By him she is loved and taken care, cherished and embraced

Beside him she knows she will--a little more than may--be just fine
Thank you.

Desolée*

20.04.09
I know you're hurting

I can still feel it

Tho we're now apart
I can't help it

Everything 'bout you made me sad

Or mad, I don't know whyI know you still love me

In some ways you know that

I still love you too
But never in the way you want me to

And we can never be one

I'm sorry if that's the way it isToo complicated and too painful

Somehow we'll end up hurting each other

And that's the least I want for us
So I took the first step out

That seemed so cruel to you

I know, I am hurting tooBut look at the larger picture

God is preparing something beautiful for you too

You just have to be patient and understand
Things I've tried to explain but failed

Maybe someone else can do it

Someone that's not me..
*) Désolée {read: dézolé} is French for "I'm Sorry"

Fine With You

29.04.09
I searched on my past, scared to replay mistakes

Trauma to certain conditions, afraid to get hurt

I knew life's hard and it sucks sometimes and it's normal

I have my dreams and keep it inside but I knew it wouldn't come

But you came my way again and all my dreams came true

You changed my world and fulfills my heart with your love

I see your eyes and found a pure soul being so true to me

I hear your voice and I know, somehow, that I'll be fine with you

My Vampire

06.09.09
Like a vampire he came to my life,

in a sudden I was slave of his love.
Cool and mysterious, with a bit hypnotize

If it's a dream I wouldn't want to rise.
To his scent my nose was searching,

And his presence meant for my being.
Too bad I don't own cross or silver,

But if I do, could it make him go over?
Now that he's sucking out my blood,

To him only shall I give my one love.
Oh I hope he won't try to drain me,

Or my life would feel just so empty.

Into Those Hazel Eyes

30.08.09
Into those pair of beautiful hazelnut-brown eyes I was looking, tried to convince myself it was not a dream I was in... No, it was not--tho all of the things that happened for the last six months did seemed like one.

Into those hypnotic hazel eyes my mind was dragged, bringing my mind back into four years earlier, when that luscious full lips told me how comfortable the owner was to be with me but somehow had promised someone to stay away...

Or to what happened just a month before, when he lightly suggested for us to be together and how excited I was when I responded to the invitation a 'yes', making him ended up kissing me softly with his delicious juicy lips...

Or to what happened six months before, when I saw him being with another girl and how it broke my heart in silence--that I tried to convince myself he was not for me, how wonderful things like him doesn't belong in my life...

Or to what happened three months before, when I first saw him on the parking lot…

A Love Note

18.04.09
This isn't a dream. You made me sure about it last night, before I fell asleep, by the phone.
Though it really feels like one. The one I've been dreaming about for years, after all, that comes true today.

In my dreams were images of a man who'd love me so true, but along with the love, frees my soul.
In it I dreamt about hands of the man who'd hold mine thru life and carry me up when I grow tired.
In it I figured the feet that would walk and run with me, with the same pace, until the end of the road.

In it I imagined a pair of eyes that would look through mine and find my soul in it, nakedly, and those eyes would love what they'd looking at, regardless how broken, flawed, and contented it is, but still love it no matter what.

Those eyes match yours.
You, of all the boys I've loved, lost and broken for.
You, of all the men I've ever wanted; my deepest wish I dared not to dream of.

The combination of it scares me yet it relaxes me at the same time. W…

Kau Untukku

07.07.10
Jangan mendekat ke arahku

Kau bisa lemahkan benteng pertahananku

Jangan bisikkan kata untukku

Kau tau ku pasti percaya kamu
Jangan lagi kau coba merayuku

Seribu kali sudah dan masih aku luluh

Jangan pernah kau sentuh diriku

Seratus kali lebih cepat berdebar jantungku
Kau sang arjuna yang menawan

Datang mencuri hati yang perawan

Kau pusat seluruh semestaku

Kaubuat hancur segala pengetahuanku
Tak seharusnya kau mencintaiku

Kisah ini hanya dongeng milik putri raja

Tapi kau hadir dan buktikan sebaliknya

Kau buatku yakin kau memang untukku
Dan aku ingin memilikimu penuh

Karena kau telah memilikiku utuh

Ketika kau tersenyum hatiku bersemi

Kala kau berbisik tiada rasa dapat terperi
Kuterlena membaui aroma kulitmu

Menatap matamu dan menghirup buru nafasmu

Terdekap erat hangat ku dibalut pelukmu

Terlelap nyenyak ku dalam lingkar lenganmu
Kokoh tanganmu buatku merasa aman

Seakan berkata kita tak terpisahkan

Kunci jemarimu menyatakan kita satu

Dan kutahu, kau pun mencintaiku

teruntuk Trahar…

My Apology

Dec.08
My apology

It's still so hard for me

To accept all the things

And get back to the start
But with you

I'm willing to do anything

Just to make you

Never leave me again

Haruskah Begini?

Haruskah begini?

Kehilangan teman demi cinta

Bila keduanya tak mungkin bersama
Adakah gunanya begini?

Mengorbankan asa dan cita

Tuk wujudkan cinta bahagia
Mengapa selalu begini?

Berada antara dua pilihan

Ketika sebenarnya tak ingin kehilangan
Terkadang hidup tak adil

Skala prioritas diutamakan

Apa yang kuindahkan buatmu belum tentu

Dan hidup adalah pilihan

Those Eyes

Those eyes caught mine

Not with hunger or greed but loneliness

Melodramatic sense I felt so tense

Egoiskah?

Saat terakhir kau memandangku

Kubenci artinya

Kulihat luka di sana

Akulah penyebabnya
Saat terakhir kau terluka

Kuberjanji takkan lagi lakukan

Namun apa yang terjadi?

Semua terulang kembali
Semua yang kuinginkan kauberi

Namun apa yang kauingin tuk kuhindari

Malah kubuat berulang kali

Membuatmu bersusah hati
Aku menjadi diri sendiri

Namun egoiskah perasaan ini?

Apa kumencintamu karena egoku

Atau karena ingin membahagiakanmu?