Victoria's Poems

Aku berjalan pulang dengan hati riang Seulas senyum menghias wajah yang girang Ribuan kali telah kutonton sirkus itu Ribuan kali pula ia dapat memukauku Empat tahun aku menyimak dengan setia Mengenal betul setiap pelosok dan sudutnya Walau hanya sekian hari dan tak menetap Kunanti saat ia kembali untuk kutatap Atraksinya merangsang imaji dan hatiku tertambat Wahananya mengguncang tubuhku dengan nikmat Itulah sirkus yang membuatku mengharap Dalam setiap kunjungnya yang hanya sekejap Hingga saat ia berkemas untuk pergi Terkadang berbulan tanpa kabar dan berita Tak tahu kapan ia akan kembali lagi Menyapaku dengan hiburan gambar dan cerita Ingin rasanya kumiliki sirkus itu Yang memberi tujuan dalam hidupku Karena hampa kurasa tanpa hadirnya Meski sesaat kumerasa memilikinya

Kunanti kamuYang berjanji untuk ada Bertahan akan tinggal Tak pernah janjikan kapan Atau bagaimana pertemuan mendatang Bilakah mungkin ada Atau hanya angan belaka Dua insan mencinta Namun terpisah jarak dan masa Entah apa rencana Sang Pencipta Tiap-tiap kutunggui Menatap tembok yang tersanding pagar Berharap sosokmu kan muncul Seperti dulu berbagi rasa Tak jua kau hadir lagi Meninggalkan remah sisa harapku Tuk kembali menunggui hari Dan ku hanya menahan rasa Yakinkan kau pasti kembali Walau mungkin hanya angan belaka

Hey baby love, How are you doing today? I've been missing you Tho it's just been a day away Hey baby love, Are you missing me too? I feel lost here already I feel incomplete without you We both know it's not working I can never have enough of you You can never give more to me We know what we're doing This will be the best for you As it will be the best for me Hey baby love, Please don't feel sad now As you said this kind of love is the one that makes us grow We've both had leapt so far Grew much since we started Now we have to be parted We've both became wiser There ain't no regret There's so much that we get Hey baby love, Can you give a smile for me? Be happy in your blessed life I'm sorry I can't be with thee

I'm sorry If I can't get you out of my mind In every thing that I do You are dancing in my thoughts I'm sorry If I think about you all the time Soon after I open my eyes and wake up To the moment I'm going to bed at night I'm sorry If I make you my priority I really can't get another order You always come on top I'm sorry If I love you so much More than I should ever feel More than I could ever show I'm sorry But I love you too much

You don't know how it feels To love someone you shouldn't When you let it all come in to you But knowing you'll have to lose it Eventually You don't know my struggle Upon those feelings I keep inside Against the force to let you go But this is what I should do Ultimately It feels hard for you As it is hard for me To fight the power of true love In this mediocre real world They don't understand You don't know His plans on us I don't know it either, babe But even we are not together This love will stay For eternity

If I miss you now Would it make you know that there's someone here wanting you so much? If I miss you now Could there be any words to describe how I feel and that you're all I need? If I miss you now Should I shout out loud and tell the world that I'm so in love with you? If I miss you now Would you know it? Would it make you mine after all?

Sometimes I ask myself if this true My brain told me to ignore you But my heart insists me to stay Somehow I feel I can't be away The logic says it's all wrong People say we don't belong But my soul longs for more Another moments to implore Then I got tired with my brain I let my heart to lead this again Maybe until we both surrender Or this story wouldn't be over

Kau adalah perjalananku Kau adalah yang harus kutempuh Kau akan segera berlalu Kau bukan tujuan akhirku Kau hanya persinggahanku Tetapi aku mau lebih  Karena Kau ajarkanku arti cinta Kau buatku mencintaimu Kau melihat hatiku Kau menghargai nilaiku Kau mengenal aku Tetapi aku tau tak bisa Karena  Kau bukan milikku

Senja menjelang Mentari bergerak perlahan Lalu hilang di peraduan Langit lembayung Ombak menderu berpacu Perasaanku sendu kelabu Angin bertiup Membisikkan kata cintamu Walau kau tak di sisiku Pasir berkata Bukan sekarang waktunya, teman Ada yang masih harus kauselesaikan Awan membentuk Impian indah kita berdua Saatnya nanti akan tiba

Bukan kebetulan bila kumengenalmu Bukan inginku tuk mencintaimu Begitu hebatnya kau rasuki pikiranku Betapa dahsyatnya kau menarik hatiku Dan kini kau usir aku jauh pergi Jangan berada dekat dan jangan hadir Kau pilih tuk jalani semuanya sendiri Tanpa beriku kesempatan tuk mendampingi Bagaimana mungkin aku bisa menjauh Bila jiwamu telah menyentuh kalbuku Jelaskan harus bagaimana aku Setelah dalam kutelusuri hatimu Aku tahu kau tak sanggup sendiri Tapi kau tak mau mengakui Jika kau pikir kau tak cukup baik Coba pikir lagi, kau jauh melampaui Jangan pernah berubah padaku Jangan lari jauh dari hidupku Tidakkah kau mau tetap di sini Bersama kita merenda hati

If you are the one that I want why it isn't me that you need? If I am ever inside of your mind why don't you tell me about it? Don't you feel the way I did When our eyes met tonight Tho we were sitting far indeed You attracted me like magnet Why can't we just be together? Cuz we're perfect for each other Why don't you just tell me when you're feeling the same way then?

Could it be that you are just an imagination I think of when I saw you fulfills half of my expectation? Could it be that I made up the other half just to make you complete as the perfect figure here on my mind? Could it be that actually no one in this world can ever meet with the standard we set and simply no one is a perfect match? Could it be that you are actually no one to me that you are just another passerby that we are not destined to be anyhow? Could it be that you maybe the one for me that we might be together forever tho we both know it's just a lame daydream? Could it be that there is no such reason that maybe we just met in random tho my heart longs for some kind of fairy tale? Could it be... ?

Kamu datang. Tiba-tiba. Tak kuduga. Kamu menarik. Buatku melirik. Tak bisa lari lagi. Kamu ada. Kausapa jiwa ini. Tak pernah kusangka. Kamu menjauh. Kadang-kadang. Tak bisa kumengerti. Kamu masih di sini. Hatiku bersemi. Tapi tak kupahami. Hei kamu yang di sana. Kuharap kau menetap. Tak pergi jauh.

Hello, Love. How are you doing? It's been a while, you know. I'm kinda surprised. Hey, Sugar. Your voice is still the same. Sounds kinda distant, tho. You sounds hurt. You know what, Hon? I'm glad that you call. You still remember my day. Am I still that special, too, you mean? Yes, Sweetheart. I understand my place now. I'm not supposed to have hopes. Love is no longer ours. But you should know, Dear. My heart still feels the same. I still love you even after it all. And will always do no matter what. I don't mean to burden you, Babe. We really should go our own ways now. And it's far too late to go back. Nothing left in that place we had ruined once. Okay now, Darling. You gotta hang up, I can hear it. Too much pain and memories you just opened. But too quick we should end it now here. Bye-bye, Love. It's just so nice to hear your voice again. Tho it's just for a glimpse and a brief. Still, it's enough for my l...

Dec 2010 Will you help me to understand? Not about this feeling that you feed It's already bloomed faster than a spring Don't I deserve an explanation? Of all the how are yous and what you're doings As if you care about me that much Can you tell me now then What's going on between us What's the meaning of all this? Because my heart is seeking for you And when you're around it's greeting you Which torture me much cuz I can't see you So please do me good and tell me About whatever you're hiding behind me And whatever lies in what you show me

I hate you Sometimes, all I want to do is to hug you But you're not here And I hate when you're gone Cuz I need you here And all I want is YOU.

Can I do those steps with you After all that we've had After passed the tiring journey I do want to be with you But I'm afraid if I can do Walk the steps with you You know who I am You know all my weaknesses All those imperfect me If I do surrender myself Would you take care of it all your life? Would you stay the same you are?

23.11.04 Entah ada apa aku tak mengerti Mungkin aku yang aneh Atau punya penyakit, entahlah Tapi tak dapat aku membuka hati Tertutup sejak dia pergi dariku Ingin marah rasanya Ingin kuteriak.. Seringkali cinta menyapa Mengetuk kabut yang menutup kalbu Namun semua yang datang tak dapat mengusirnya Selaput ini terus ada Dan tak mau menghilang Aku menunggu sinar itu 'Tuk buyarkan ketakutanku 'Tuk cerahkan hari-hariku..

23.11.04 Aku meringkuk dalam keheningan Sendirian dalam gelap Menunggu dalam sepi Sinar rembulan mengenaiku Aku mundur dan bersembunyi Entah mengapa aku takut Lalu menarik diri Tak kelihatan orang lain