Victoria's Poems

Suddenly, I'm falling in love again... ... and it tastes so sweet it feels so beautiful it makes me go wondering and smiling and daydreaming... ... it drives me crazy but crazy in love is way better and I'm so much better now, thanks to you!

Could it be that you are just an imagination I think of when I saw you fulfills half of my expectation? Could it be that I made up the other half just to make you complete as the perfect figure here on my mind? Could it be that actually no one in this world can ever meet with the standard we set and simply no one is a perfect match? Could it be that you are actually no one to me that you are just another passerby that we are not destined to be anyhow? Could it be that you maybe the one for me that we might be together forever tho we both know it's just a lame daydream? Could it be that there is no such reason that maybe we just met in random tho my heart longs for some kind of fairy tale? Could it be... ?

Kamu datang. Tiba-tiba. Tak kuduga. Kamu menarik. Buatku melirik. Tak bisa lari lagi. Kamu ada. Kausapa jiwa ini. Tak pernah kusangka. Kamu menjauh. Kadang-kadang. Tak bisa kumengerti. Kamu masih di sini. Hatiku bersemi. Tapi tak kupahami. Hei kamu yang di sana. Kuharap kau menetap. Tak pergi jauh.

April 28, 2011 I can't understand love Comes unexpected So fast and wild It drives us nuts I don't understand my heart Beats faster when in danger Won't slow down when being warned Dreams of an adventure of itself Why should I feel this If there is that thin line of warning Why don't they just leave me Maybe it's better to be empty I don't know if this is a curse I feel so tired already by now When love should be killed Before it's even bloomed Perhaps love just isn't in my way Maybe it's not for me at all For love is always a misery to me I really should get used of this...

Hello, Love. How are you doing? It's been a while, you know. I'm kinda surprised. Hey, Sugar. Your voice is still the same. Sounds kinda distant, tho. You sounds hurt. You know what, Hon? I'm glad that you call. You still remember my day. Am I still that special, too, you mean? Yes, Sweetheart. I understand my place now. I'm not supposed to have hopes. Love is no longer ours. But you should know, Dear. My heart still feels the same. I still love you even after it all. And will always do no matter what. I don't mean to burden you, Babe. We really should go our own ways now. And it's far too late to go back. Nothing left in that place we had ruined once. Okay now, Darling. You gotta hang up, I can hear it. Too much pain and memories you just opened. But too quick we should end it now here. Bye-bye, Love. It's just so nice to hear your voice again. Tho it's just for a glimpse and a brief. Still, it's enough for my l...

I wish you are happy with her...

You said you are interested What if I don't? You think I'm like an angel What if I'm not? You came on a little closer What if I say you shouldn't? You wanna go on with this What if I simply wouldn't? Don't love me Is the best I can suggest you Don't be near me Is what you should do I'm just the one who'll hurt you And I don't want it to be I'm not your angel for sure Just some small part of your story

Dec 2010 Will you help me to understand? Not about this feeling that you feed It's already bloomed faster than a spring Don't I deserve an explanation? Of all the how are yous and what you're doings As if you care about me that much Can you tell me now then What's going on between us What's the meaning of all this? Because my heart is seeking for you And when you're around it's greeting you Which torture me much cuz I can't see you So please do me good and tell me About whatever you're hiding behind me And whatever lies in what you show me

Empat jam kemarin bersamamu Setelah sekian waktu tak bertemu Tak terkatakan perasaanku Kau kembali bukan menjadi kekasih Kau hibur aku di saat kusedih Hadirmu membantuku pulih Di bahumu lara ini kusandarkan Untuk sesaat kuterlepas dari beban Setelah sekian lama berusaha kutahan Mungkin kau tak tahu betapa senang aku Walau hanya sejenak saja bersamamu Seakan tak pernah terpisahkan waktu

I have to know my boundary I know that But the feeling came abruptly I didn't plan that You were supposed to be a friend I've known about you long enough for that You weren't supposed to confound I didn't know how to respond for that But I saw your beauty within And I fell for what lies beneath Though you should never be mine I still want you to be my mate

I knew we're impossible You were just a distraction I was just an interlude But somehow I hoped for you Perhaps to fulfill my own broken dream Though I know it was dangerous You're definitely what I like The figure I've been looking for The kind of attention I needed But how do we deal with this? You belong to her eternally I can never have you in any way Maybe someday I'll have my own Somebody like you... Only, he will be mine

You were there by the pool, sitting When I accidentally past over you Normally it won't mean anything But you know, a dream just came true Funny how you appeared just like that When we chat, I felt like I've known you I just remembered, we've already met In my dream last night, I'm pretty sure it was you I don't really believe in coincidence But what just happened I can not explain Do we need any more evidence? Maybe we're soulmate, but maybe just a friend

Malam ini kutatap langit kosong Termenung memikirkanmu yang jauh Kuberharap tiada kata bohong Hati ingin percaya padamu penuh Namun ketika kuberanjak tidur Mengapa hanya sendiri ku di sini? Lama kuhanya bisa terpekur Mengkhayalkan kau ada di sisi Sulit bagiku membayangkan hidup Bila tanpamu mesti berjalan terus Mungkin 'tuk kita saat ini memang redup Kuyakin kau kan kembali bila itu harus

Aku ingin teriak Tak kuat rasanya hati Kuingin memberontak Dari cengkeraman rasa ini Rasanya tak bisa lagi Kujalani kalau kau setengah hati Tak sanggup berjuang sendirian Sementara tak acuh kau membiarkan Kuingin kau di sini Mengapa sulit untuk kau hadir? Hanya satu pinta diri Benarkah tak ingin kau penuhi? Sudahlah Lama hati ini menanti Aku lelah Lebih baik bila kauakhiri...

28.06.10 Habis. Terkuras sudah semua dayaku. Untuk mencintaimu, membuatmu bahagia. Tak sanggup lagi. Tak ada lagi yang tersisa dariku. Semua t’lah kuberikan padamu, segalanya. Apa yang kulakukan aku tak tahu. Tiba-tiba kauputuskan tali cinta ini. Mengemispun aku tak mampu. Semua cinta t’lah kuserahkan untukmu. Lantas harus apakahku sekarang? Tak ada lagi tujuan, hidupku terasa kosong. Tak mungkin kuakhiri sekarang, belum tuntas semua. Namun tanpa hadirmu di hariku, kan kujalani tanpa asa. Suatu saat kau ‘kan melihatku. Budak uang yang berjuang menyusuri hidup Dalam kekelaman batin yang tak pernah terbayangkan Di situlah ku ‘kan berada. Merelakanmu. Dengan mengorbankan cintaku.